


Restoration

by IceGoliath



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Life Choices, Love Triangles, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-06-07 09:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6799096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceGoliath/pseuds/IceGoliath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku had a charmed life until Axel turned it upside down. When Axel leaves, Riku rebuilds, but what happens when Axel returns and changes everything. He may restore buildings, but can Riku restore himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Riku was the son of Sephiroth, a self made billionaire.  
His life, since the age of five had been spent being paraded around at charity benefits. As he got older, he was taken to meetings and left to hold the fort when his father left the country. As he had no siblings, the business associates he acquired became his family.  
By his late teens, he had become a well know philanthropist, using his trust fund to take on restoration projects. Saving youth centres and old peoples homes and other public buildings. He took on some television work to supplement his income, becoming a celebrity in the popular media. The rest of his trust fund went on stocks and shares.  
By the time he was in his early 20’s, his friends and business partners were starting to pair off, get married. Riku knew who he was, what he wanted from life and this scared some people.

The hour that changed his life happened at the yearly Mayoral banquet held in his honor. He stood by the door in a black tuxedo, a bow tie and very shiny shoes, shaking hands with the guests who he would never remember and in his mind would be a faceless blur.  
Half way through the evening, the urge for a nicotine hit forced him to leave out the rear entrance through the kitchen into the darkness and the cold. He leant against the wall by the door and removed a cigarette packet from the hidden pocket in his tuxedo jacket. He always asked his suit maker to add these, a prerequisite of his custom.  
He listened to the traffic as it sped past the alleyway, the classical orchestra in the building a dull background noise, a contrast to the dark squalid location he had ventured into.  
It was only as he tilted his head to light his cigarette with a match that he saw a young man sitting on the steps below him, Riku recognized his clothing as a waiters uniform, he was sitting on a dark duffle bag.  
He must have felt Riku’s presence behind him as he turned his head to see who the intruder was. His hair flashing red in a passing car headlight.  
“Can I bum one of those?” He said, voice horse.  “Sure.” Riku sat down on the step next to him, using his jacket as a cushion. He passed a cigarette over. “Riku” he said as he let it go.  
“Axel”  
The man lit it. In the light of the flame, Riku could see how young he looked.  
“You don’t look like a waiter.” He said after a few drags  
“I’m not, but you do. What are you doing out here, shouldn’t you be serving drinks to a load of overstuffed people in their best party attire?”  
Axel smiled  
“Got fired” he said with a shrug. “Was late again ‘cos of my Dad.”  
He sat quietly for a while, puffing smoke into the air, slightly embarrassed at divulging too much information to a total stranger.  
“You live with him?”  
The question was innocuous, not too probing.  
“He kicked me out. This is all I own” He indicated to the bag he was sitting on.  
“How old are you?”  
“19. Not a minor anymore, so he can do what he likes.”  
“Do you go to school around here?”  
“Dropped out, got into a bit of trouble.”  
Riku finished his cigarette and subbed it out against the wall.  
“Wait here, I‘ll be back later. I have an idea.”  
He turned and went back into the building, leaving Axel sitting on the steps. He doubted that the redhead would still be there when he returned. For some reason, he felt obliged to help him as it was his party and he had hired the overzealous catering manager. Also he found him interesting.  
At 3am when, the guests has mostly gone home, drunk and singing, Riku crept out the rear door to the alleyway. He didn’t expect to see the redhead on the step. He thought that the man would not want to entrust is safety to a complete stranger.  
“Axel?”  
The redhead looked up  
“You came back?” He looked surprised  
“You waited”  
“No-where else to go” His voice sounded resigned and numb.  
“I have a large house and I’m just rattling around in it by myself. Come and stay with me.”  
“You are inviting a college drop out with no qualifications and dubious personal history to live with you. Are you crazy?”  
“How do you know I don’t have any nefarious intentions” Riku smiled, trying to make a joke.  
“You’re famous right?”  
Riku opened his mouth to answer  
“It’s a rhetorical question ‘Ku”  
No-one had ever talked to him like that before, he started to admire the guy’s confidence. He shut his mouth, saying nothing.  
“If you try anything unwanted, I’ll blab to the press. They’ll be on you so fast, that you won’t know what hit you.”  
From the look on Axel’s face, this wasn’t an idle threat. The guy was intriguing. Vague innocence and a vicious streak all jumbled together. His sharp green eyes hiding something that Riku couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

In the harsh light of day, Axel appeared to look worse that he did the night before. Riku piled the redhead’s plate with pancakes and bacon, twice as much as he usually had himself. Axel was skinny and pale, like he hadn’t been taking care of himself for months, all jutting cheekbones and bony fingers reminding Riku of a skeleton. He watched him wolf down the pancakes like they were nothing.  
The way Axel watched him from the other side of the table over a mug of coffee was full of suspicion. He just looked damaged and forlorn. The romantic in Riku kicked in, he wanted to nurse this poor man back to health and take care of him.  
“Why do you live here alone?” Axel finally asked  
Riku looked up from his newspaper and smiled  
“It’s easier to keep my privacy”  
“No-ones ever done anything for me without wanting something in return. What do you want?”  
“Just your company. You respect me and I’ll do the same for you.”  
Axel grinned. Riku had never see such an expression before in his life, a cross between gratitude and feral passion.  
“See later ‘Ku”  
Axel ran his long fingers across Riku’s shoulders as he left the room. Riku’s heart stopped for a second then restarted, beating faster. He breathed out as soon as Axel had left the room. He pictured the way the redhead had said his name, the way his lips curled around the word, leaving Riku with an overwhelming and uncomfortable urge to kiss him.  
Axel put his meagre belongings in the spare room, knowing perfectly well the reaction he had left his housemate with. The lone duffle bag looking pathetic on the double bed in the functional but dull bedroom. It was even bigger than the lounge in his dad’s house.  
He sat on the edge of the soft bed and threw himself backwards, his body bouncing then settling. He closed his eyes and fell asleep like he hadn’t slept for days.  
He woke up to the sound of the doorbell, he sat up, disorientated, not recognising where he was for a second. It was night outside and he was sitting in pitch darkness.  
“Axel. Axel.” He heard someone shout is name, it was not his dad or his brother. “Axel, can you get the door, it’s Jack, I’m still trying to get ready.”  
Axel rose from the bed and thundered down the stairs.  
Who the fuck was Jack?  
He opened the door. In the doorway stood a man in mostly white, with blonde hair that defied gravity even more than Axel’s did.  
“Hey babe, you ready for...”  
He stopped mid sentence when he noticed it was a skinny redhead, not the object of his affections. He looked a little surprised.  
“You must be Jack”  
Axel let him through, nearly slamming the guy’s coat in the door.  
“Who are you?”  
The guy’s voice affected the snobby tone Axel was used to  
“Axel is my housemate.”  
Riku spoke as he walked down the stairs, saving Axel from any further small talk or in Axel’s opinion, saving the blonde. He was a complete douche.  
Jack looked Axel up and down as if to say ‘why you, what’s so special about you?’  
“I was lonely.” Riku purred as he slid up to Jack and took his arm before kissing him lightly on the cheek.  
“If you were lonely, I could have moved in.”  
Jack grinned, it was an expression, Axel didn’t like. Riku giggled, he actually giggled.  
“Axel, this is my boyfriend Jack.”  
The blondes grin widened.  
“You’re gay?”  
“It appears so. Is that a problem?”  
“No problem”  
“I’m sorry, I should have told you yesterday.”  
“Like I said, it’s not a problem. Have a good time.”  
He shoved them out the door  
“If you ever get bored of that jerk off, let me know.” He called out the door.  
Torturing the blonde would be fun.  
Axel slammed the door and went to find something to eat. His phone rang when he was halfway through a pot of crab paste and a bag of nachos.  
“Dad kicked you out huh?”  
“Took you long enough to find that out Reno.”  
“You knew he would find out eventually, and it wasn’t from me before you start to issue threats.”  
“We had a huge fight, I was late for work and got fired. No home and no job.”  
“Where are you staying?”  
“With a friend.”  
If you could call him that. Axel couldn’t quite figure out why Riku, a celebrity would invite him to live with him in the first place.  
“You could always stay with me and Yuff.”  
“And interrupt the amazing adventures of the Great Ninja Yuffie and Reno with his EMR of power?”  
“You heard that?”  
“From two floors down. Seriously Re, your role-plays suck.”  
“At least I’m not a bed hopping little brat with anger management issues”  
“Your words wound me.”  
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, you’re smarter than that, yo”.  
Why did he have to marry someone like Yuffie. Such a bad influence. His comebacks were getting pathetic.  
“So this friend, anything going on?”  
“With Riku? It’s not like that. He’s hot, but he’s got a boyfriend.”  
“That’s never stopped you before.”  
“He hangs out in places that aren’t my scene anyway.”  
Axel thought of the charity ball where they had met.  
“Where there’s people, natural lighting and music that has words you can hear?”  
“Precisely. Now that you’ve insulted me. I’m going to bed.”  
“Alone?”  “Big brother, what do you think I am?”  
He shut his phone and after much deliberation, decided to take his crab paste and nachos upstairs and finish unpacking.


	2. Chapter 2

“What does Jack do?”  
They were sitting around the table eating breakfast. Axel, once again scoffing at a rate of knots.  
“He’s a professional gambler and donates a lot to my projects”  
“I bet he does.”  
“Axel, you’ve been living here for 2 days and think you can question Jack’s suitability as a boyfriend and my lifestyle choices.”  
“No-one knows about him do they?”  
“No, and I’d like to keep it that way. Also, please could you refrain from screaming certain things in the street. I’m trying to keep a low profile.”  
Riku watched Axel eat and looked him up and down  
“You’re so skinny, you obviously don’t take care of yourself properly.”  
“Maybe I need someone to take care of me.”  
“And you think I’m going to do that?”  
“You know he’s not right for you. You could do so much better.”  
“I could? Who would that be?” Said Riku, already knowing the answer.  
“Me.”  
“You have to be joking.”  
“Why not?”  
“You’ll have to do better than that.”  
“He’s not around all the time is he and I am. You know where my room is if you get lonely.”  
Axel grinned, making Riku’s stomach flop about uncontrollably. The problem was that he didn’t know if the redhead was being serious or not. He was that sort of guy.   
Can you be a sugar daddy at 24?

 

*************************************************

 

“What do you think you’re doing Axel?” Riku didn’t sound angry, just tired. He’d just got in from work and felt so drained.  
Sephiroth had decided to retire early and had passed the company onto him. Not that Riku was annoyed about it, but it was extra work and late nights. Appeasing television executives seemed to be his job now, not restoring buildings and charity work. He’d been pulling all nighters for the past week.  
Axel blowing on the back of his neck as soon as he had taken off his shoes and flopped on the sofa, still in his suit, was not the start of the evening he’d had in mind. A bit of TV, a bath and an early night suited him better.  
There it was again, that warm air on the back of his neck. He shivered involuntarily. The instigator, taking it as a good sign started to massage his shoulders.  
“What the fuck, Axel?”  
This time Riku was angry  
“I’m trying to seduce you and you’re not making it easy”  “I’ve told you hundreds of times that I’m not interested”  “53 actually. I’ve seen the way you watch me Riku, when you think I’m not looking.”  
“Give up Axel.”  
There was no response, he’d gone and Riku didn’t see him for the rest of the night he couldn’t deny that he was a bit attracted. He was physically of course, but he barely knew the guy.  
The next morning, Axel shuffled into the kitchen and made himself some toast like nothing had happened.   
He sat opposite Riku who watched him from over the newspaper.  
“What have you got on today?” he asked after a moments silence.  
“Meetings and an interview with a design magazine. You?”  
“I might do a bit of job hunting then visit my brother.” His voice sounded bored, then he abruptly got up, crossed to Riku’s side of the table and grabbed him by the lapels. “Actually, you’re playing hooky this morning.”  
“I can’t.” Riku snapped  
“Yes you can. We’re going out for coffee, then to the park to play on the swings. I’ll have you at the office by noon.”  
He grinned, it was infectious. Riku’s heart skipped.   
“You have til 12.00.” He said grudgingly.  
Axel pulled Riku up the stairs to his room and threw open his wardrobe.  
“I’ve never seen such a boring wardrobe. What do you wear when you have fun?”  
Riku pointed to a small and very sad looking section of casual clothes, hidden behind some coats.  
“We are going shopping to get these clothes some company.”  
Axel pushed Riku out the door, hailed a cab to the neared mall and forced him to try on an insane amount of casual clothes, that Riku felt ridiculous in, but in which the redhead assured him looked hot. For some reason, Riku valued that opinion. He’d never allowed anyone to dress him before, but he was bowled along by Axel’s sense of adventure and lack of responsibility.  
He emerged from the mall in jeans, a t-shirt with a band name emblazoned on the front and a leather jacket. Everything was new, down to the underwear. His suit, stowed safely in a plastic bag, probably wrinkled to hell.   
They took a cab to the nearest park and spent a few hours sitting on the swings and eating ice-creams. No-one was around. For that morning, Axel let him forget that he was famous and that he had an image to uphold. Guiltily, he didn’t even think about Jack.  
Paparazzi flocked to the house that evening, wanting to confirm the rumours that Riku was dating a tall redhead. They blocked the road and Riku had to close the curtains to block out the camera flashes  
“Does this happen every time you do something out of the ordinary?” Axel sat on the arm of a sofa in the living room, watching the entertainment news. They were the main story and the newscaster was commenting on why Riku had not made a statement yet.  
“Pretty much. Please turn the TV off.”  
“Just give them a statement. They will only speculate until you do.”  
“This is not how I wanted to come out to the public.”  
“How did you explain Jack?”  
“A donator to the projects.   
“Say that then.”  
“Can’t I just stay in here till they go away?”  
A loud bang on the back door got their attention. Only a few select people knew about that door.  
“Shit, Jack.”  
“Don’t answer it.”  
“Jack’s my boyfriend, I have to let him in.”  
Riku crossed the kitchen and opened the door before it was pounded off it’s hinges  
“You left me for that? That skinny streak of of of nothing.”   
Riku had never seen Jack so angry. His eyed blazed. What Axel was, was obviously beyond words.  
“It’s not like that. He’s not what you think he is” said Riku quietly  
“A complete waste of space who does fuck all. I know you like projects Riku, I just thought you dealt with buildings not people.”  
Jack slammed the front door and left Riku speechless in the hallway  
“Is that true?” Axel’s voice was quiet.  
“Of course it isn’t”  
“I’m not just another project?” The tone was suspicious  
“No.”  
Axel smiled and beckoned Riku towards him with a crooked finger. He was ignored.  
“Would you like to forget about him?” He said  
The suggestion finally broke Riku from his disbelief. He shuffled over to Axel who pulled him forward to face him, arms wrapped around his body, forcing him close. Riku could see black intermingled with green eyes, he took a deep breath then kissed Axel hard. He tasted of tobacco, and mint toothpaste  
“How would you do that?” He asked when they broke apart.  
Axel grinned and let him go.  
“Follow me upstairs and you’ll think that he’s figment of your imagination.”  
“Do you really think you’re that good?  
“‘Ku, I know I’m that good” Axel said from half way up the stairs  
Not wanting to turn down an invitation like that, Riku raced up the stairs behind him.  
He’d make a statement later. They’d still be there hovering like vultures.

Mid afternoon, three months after Axel’s arrival at the house and about a week after they had got it on, the doorbell chimed. Riku opened the door to a slightly older looking version of Axel in a suit with a long ponytail. Next to him stood a short brunette. They were holding hands.  
“You must be Riku?”  
“I am. Who are you?”  
“Reno and this is my wife Yuffie. We’re here to check on Ax, yo.”  
“Are you coming to take him away?” Said Riku loudly  
“I heard that.” Came a voice from deep inside the house.”  
“He won’t eat properly, refuses to get a job and won’t leave the sofa, but other than that he is his usual charming self.”  
Reno was through the door and down the corridor before Riku could invite him in. Yuffie mouthed sorry as the followed the redhead.   
“Still a brat. Get your skanky ass up off that goddamn sofa and eat something.” Reno bellowed as soon as he found Axel.  
“Re? What the fuck are you doing here?”  
“Language Ax.” Tutted Yuffie   
“You too Yuff? You both here to gang up on me?”  
“And please get dressed before I go blind.”  
“It’s Riku’s house and he doesn’t mind.”  
“I could kick your ass in hundreds of different ways, never forget that.”  
“‘Ku, did you call them?”  
“Nothing to do with me.”  
“You’re gonna be an uncle, so you’d better act like it.”  
“Holy shit.” He said, getting up “The EMR of power must have been working over time.”  
Riku looked confused, but smiled when he noticed Reno and Yuffie look embarrassed  
“Congratulations” He said to break the ensuing silence.


	3. Chapter 3

“Why didn’t you turn up?” Riku raged as soon as he stepped through the door. “Axel, the interview was today.”  
He thundered into the living room to find Axel lying on the sofa watching music videos. He was still wearing what he had had on that morning. Spikes kinked from bed head and falling in front of his eyes, jogging bottoms that hung around his hips, the tattoo of the dragon that Riku said he hated -but secretly loved- snaking around his back and across his stomach. Did Riku mention that the redhead was topless?  
He stood there and smiled slowly. Axel always knew how to get his attention.  
“I had nothing to wear.” He drawled, stretching his body out like a cat.  
“You have a wardrobe full of suits” Riku sighed  
“The suit I wanted to wear was not really interview material.”  
As he said those words he slid off the sofa, those penetrating green eyes staring at Riku, trying to work out if he really was mad or if this was a prelude to something way more fun than fighting.  
The feral growl that emanated from Riku’s throat betrayed him. He grabbed Axel by the back of the head and yanked him forward into a ferocious kiss.  
He ignored the scratchiness of the day old beard as the smell as his body drew in all his senses. At least that morning he’d had the courtesy to clean his teeth.  
“I’m just trying to help you Ax” Riku whispered between kisses  
“I’m not one of your restoration projects.”  
“I know.”  
“What do you want from me?”  
“Just you. Upstairs now” Riku murmured against the kiss.  
Axel was his Kryptonite.  
His suit lay crumpled on the stairs, tie around the doorknob of the bathroom. Axel’s jogging bottoms were lost somewhere. He didn’t care where, they were the ugliest things ever anyway.  
They lay together on the hallway floor, not getting as far as the bedroom, surrounded my the smell of sweat and sex  
“Shower” said Riku, rolling Axel away from him.  
The redhead groaned, but complied. Riku lay for a moment before joining him in the hot water, hopeful for a repeat performance. He soaked in the smell of the goddamn redhead, who always made him lose his train of thought and love it.  
Riku sauntered into the gym that evening, it was one of the only places he went that felt like home. Everyone knew not to bother him, it was like the customers were told when they registered, that he was to be left alone.  
On the left as he walked in he noticed a short blonde man having trouble with the weight machine. If he wasn’t careful he would get himself squashed underneath the pile of weights he’d liberally added to the machine.  
“Watch it. You’ll kill yourself.” He said, rushing over to take some of the weight.  
“Thanks. My first time here.” the blonde said, not looking up  
“No, problem. Riku” He said, helping up the blonde, who looked a bit pale, but quickly gathered his wits when he noticed who had helped him.  
“Roxas. How can I thank the person who saved me from potentially fatal embarrassment?”  
The clang of the weights broke the uncomfortable vibe as they receded into their starting position.   
“Are you here by yourself?”  
“I’m taken.”  
“I didn’t ask that. I asked you if you were here by yourself?”  
“Yes, my partner’s not into gyms. He said he’d rather get hot and sweaty at home.”  
If the comment was meant to put Roxas off, it did the opposite. He blushed slightly. Of course a guy that looked like this would have someone.   
Truth be told, Riku was glad of the attention. Axel was at home, refusing to get a job or go to any interviews he’d sorted for him. Preferring to be a kept man, which Riku found a bit of a passion killer.  
After a year, sometimes he wasn’t even sure why the redhead was still around other than the fact that he was a fantastic lay and could make a mean lasagna.  
Riku smiled at the blonde and went to use to other equipment. He wasn’t the type to cheat, couldn’t abide by being cheated on himself. It would be hypocritical to not apply the same standards he had for himself, to others.  
He turned to watch the blonde on the treadmill, before getting on the rowing machine. Well, he could look couldn’t he?  
“Can I buy you a coffee, for you know, saving me.”   
Riku looked up from the sports equipment, to see Roxas standing over him.  
“As friends, of course”  
Riku nodded  
As they sipped black coffees in the gym cafe and watched the world go by, he noticed Roxas staring at him. Riku sighed, he couldn’t get Axel to do this with him. It wasn’t that he was shy, far from it, it was the fact that he would have to go out in public with him. Sometimes he just thought that the redhead was ashamed of him in some way.  
Roxas was staring at him again, this innocent blue eyes questioning.  “What is it Roxas?” He said, turning his attention to his companion.  
“You’re ‘that’ Riku, aren’t you?” he said, holding up a celebrity magazine. The article had a picture from a recent charity ball.  
Riku nodded.  
“You’re alone in this picture.”  
“My partner doesn’t like coming with me to stuff like that. He says you have to be nice to everyone and he’s not too good in large crowds of people he doesn’t know.”   
There he goes, making excuses again.  
“If I had you, I’d go to this stuff with you.” Roxas said quietly.  
He finished his coffee, put his payment on the table and grabbed his coat.   
“I can get yours.”  
“No” Snapped Roxas “I don’t care who you are Mr. Big-shot. I work, I can pay my way.” His voice was softer. “See you around ‘Ku”  
He left Riku sitting in the booth open mouthed. No-one had ever called him ‘Ku, except Axel with his sharp green eyes and cutting smile. The way Roxas said it sounded luxurious and tempting. Guilt ate at him from the inside.

 

*********************************************

“What are you wearing a tux for?”  
Axel entered the bedroom and threw himself on the bed.  
“It’s the charity auction date tonight. I told you about it weeks ago when I got asked to be a prize.”  
“If I would have got you looking like that, I would have bid for you myself.”  
Axel licked his lips slowly  
“And leave the house for somewhere with natural light?” Riku snapped, not turning round  
“Phone bidding” Axel grinned behind the words “You can’t go like that” he snapped suddenly.  
“Why not?”  
“Not in those trousers. They cling in all the right places. All my favorite places.” His voice leacherous “Besides, you could give your date the wrong Idea.”  
“Not everyone is as sex obsessed as you.”  
Before Riku had time to move away, he felt Axel run kisses up the side of his neck, one of his weak spots. Damn, the guy was good.  
“Axel, please stop.” He said a little halfheartedly.  
“Stop what?”  
“You know what. I can’t go on a date for charity smelling of sex.”  
“Your date will know that you’re private property.”  
“He already knows.”  
“It’s a guy?”  
“You remember the guy I saved at the gym? It’s him.”  
“The guy who is not as scrawny and plain as you made him out to be?”  
“Have you been spying on me?”  
“Yuff works evenings in the cafe, you know that. She told me.”  
“Oh.”  
“In that case, you are definitely not wearing that tux. Let me help you pick something else out.”  
“If you had your way, I’d be wearing a bin bag or several layers of jumpers”  
“And you’d still look hot.”  
Riku smiled, that was about as romantic as Axel got and he’d take what he could get.”  
“Love you too Ax.” He said quietly.  
Axel couldn’t hear anyway, his head already in the wardrobe. He started to throw items of clothing at Riku.  
10 minutes later, Riku was wearing loose fitting dark blue jeans, a light grey button down shirt, a dark blue tie and a dark green blazer.  
“Somethings missing” Said Axel as he surveyed his handiwork.  
He reached down to his trousers and undid his belt. His favorite one that Riku had got him for his birthday. It was black leather with silver twin clasps shaped like chackrams. He reached around Riku and gently threaded the belt through this trouser loops. He looked Riku up and down approvingly.  
“Shoes” He muttered as he dove back into the wardrobe and pulled out some dark green converse that were still boxed.  
“Put these on.”  
As Riku obliged, Axel grabbed a hair band and pulled his silver hair into a low ponytail.  
Riku tried to leave the house, but was met at the door.  
“Be back by 12 or you might turn into a pumpkin.”  
Axel thrust his other favourite possession at Riku. His floor length black leather coat. He may not be the jealous type, but he sure liked to mark his territory.  
“I insist that this stays buttoned up all night. Don’t want you catching a cold, you won’t be any use to me.”  
Riku rolled his eyes at the flimsy excuse and left for the date.  
When he returned late that night, Axel didn’t ask any questions. He just pulled Riku inside the house. He immediately pushed Riku against the hallway wall.  
“Ax, are you feeling insecure?”   
“Me? Never”  
“You’ve nothing to worry about.” Riku laughed, which seemed to enrage the redhead who yanked Riku’s hair from it’s ponytail.  
“Remember who you have at home.” The smirk on his face growing to cheshire cat proportions.

********************************************************** 

 

Riku walked in through the front door after work a few days later, expecting to find Axel lounging on the sofa watching TV, surrounded by beer cans and cartons of Chinese food. Creeping into the dark room, he was surprised to find that he wasn’t there. Then he heard a peal of laughter coming from the kitchen. Axel’s laughter, something he hadn’t heard for months. He smiled and walked into the kitchen to be greeted by an open bottle of champagne. He was drunk.  
“‘Ku.” He giggled. Axel never giggled. “I’ve got a job.”  
“How? You haven’t left the living room for weeks?”  
Axel grinned and let the comment slide, but the glint in his eyes indicated that Riku was going to regret it later.  
“Reno got it for me. I’m managing a band called ‘Refrain of Denial’. All those music videos I’ve watched will finally come in handy. I’ve always wanted to be in a band”  
It had never occurred to Riku that all the job interviews that he’d arrange for Axel were for a man that Riku wanted him to be rather than for who he was. Which was probably why he was always late or never turned up at all. Axel had just been humoring him the whole time, but his irritation was quelled by the next few words from the redheads mouth.  
“Let’s go out.”  
Riku stared at him, speechless. Eyebrow raised in disbelief.  
“I mean it. Lets go out. Where do you want to go?”  
He took a long glug from the champagne and offered it to Riku.  
“Relax ‘Ku. Have a drink, we’ll fuck, we’ll get ready and go out. There’s a new bar in town.”  
Riku smiled and took the bottle, which from the label was his best champagne, but he didn’t care. They were going to celebrate the fact that Axel had a job and was finally happy.  
“When I have my first gig, you’ll be there won’t you “ Axel slurred  
“I promise.”  
They are ushered past the queue when they arrive at the bar and into the VIP area. Not one of Riku’s type of places, all neon tube lights, glass and mirrors. As the bouncers, carved a path through the crowd, Riku noticed Roxas at the bar, he was there with a couple of blonde guys who couldn’t keep their hand to themselves. A brunette kissed him on the cheek and Riku felt his blood boil, even though he had right to feel that way. They had had a connection on their charity date, Riku had felt it. A surge akin to electricity when they discussed buildings and art. Riku closed his eyes and remembered the others face when he had mentioned his own art. He had drawn a dragon on a cloth napkin and signed it, for when he was famous.   
How dare that girl kiss him, that was his Roxas. The blonde noticed him and smiled, one that said get me out of here. Riku felt his heart jump. Roxas needed saving by a prince charming.   
He was about to go over when Axel put a possessive arm around his shoulders and dragged him into a dark corner, to sit on the velvet chairs of the VIP room behind a velvet rope, drink neat whiskey and chain smoke.   
Riku had always been a romantic, but he was actually pleased that when they went out together Axel liked a low profile. If anyone found out that Axel was with him, they’d crucify him. He could be buried in negative publicity until the end of the world.  
They were complete opposites who in circumstances other than their beginning, would have never got together. Not that they had ever discussed it, the whole being boyfriends thing, it was just a mutual acknowledgment.   
Roxas on the other hand actually wanted to be with him and Riku was a sucker for someone with dreams and ambition.


	4. Chapter 4

As much as Riku loved the fact that Axel had a job and was now contributing to the bills, he was never home. Preferring to hang out with the band. He would return from weeks away and pass out on the sofa or stay up in the study writing press releases or redesigning the website. If Riku saw him once a month he considered himself lucky.  
He awoke one night to find that the other side of the bed had not been slept in. He got up and trudged silently down the hallway. The light was on in the study. Axel was slumped on the desk, a mug of cold coffee next to him, the screen blank and the computer off.  
Riku poked the redhead in the shoulder and he woke up with a tired yawn.  
“‘Ku, I thought you were in bed”  
“You would rather sleep in here than with me?”  
“Of course not”  
Riku was not reassured by that statement. He couldn’t tell when Axel was being serious or not.   
“Why are you still here Axel? Don’t say it’s because you love me, because I know you don’t and I don’t think you ever did.”  
Axel said nothing  
“You’re never home, always out with the band and you refuse to kiss me when you get back.  
“You’re being a baby ‘Ku, a stupid romantic. It’s called promotion. We have to sign posters and stuff for teenage girls and weird kids. You’ll thank me one day, when we are world famous. Anyway, you should understand better than most people. You’re on TV every other day and spend a lot of time at work”  
“But I’m not pandering to a bunch of horny teenagers”  
Sometimes he thought he didn’t mind the way Axel was, just to feel needed.They’d been through a lot together. He gave himself a mental slap.  
“No Axel, I need more. I want more. I deserve more. I want someone who is around and who isn’t ashamed to be seen with me, who I’m not ashamed to be seen with.”  
“I’m not ashamed ‘Ku. You just want me to be someone I can’t be. I’m sorry”  
Watching Axel leave the next morning felt like he was being held underwater, like he was drowning. He would never be with the redhead again. Maybe Axel didn’t need him anymore, maybe he just needed Axel to cling onto like a life preserver.  
Riku considered calling after him, apologizing and asking him to come home. He also knew in the back of him mind that Axel had gone and had been gone a long time.  
He lay on the kingsize bed and stared up at the ceiling. The house felt empty and quiet. He was alone. Tears started to well up, but he pushed them back down. He gulped back short breaths. This was for the best, but he really hated sleeping alone.


	5. Chapter 5

6 months later

 

“Ax, there’s a guy at the back door who wants to talk to you.”  
“Who is it?”  
“He didn’t say. Just said that that he had nefarious intentions.”  
Axel walked slowly out the door of the concert venue to be greeted by a man with his back to him, mostly in black, a hood over his head.   
“‘Ku?, you didn’t need to be here”  
The hood came down.  
“I promised didn’t I? The show was pretty good, though not my usual taste in music”  
He was silent for a few seconds, surveying the changes in Axel. He’d put on some muscle and had smartened up a bit. Maybe he’d been holding him back. Axel took a cigarette from behind his ear and looked Riku up and down approvingly.  
“But, I’m glad you came”  
“How’s your nephew?”  
“Fine”  
Riku watched his mouth, the mouth he knew was so talented, lips wrapping themselves round the filter. He had to stop himself from drooling.   
He spotted a glint of silver in his tongue, the anticipation of what Axel could do with a piercing made him take an involuntary breath, hoping that the redhead would notice and would take the hint.  
“You want one?”  
“No thanks, I quit a few months ago.”  
The redhead lit it and blew thick smoke out of his nose like a dragon. Riku felt his body go weak, the redhead was one addiction he was having trouble trying to break. He shouldn’t have come. His body was a traitor, all his resolve and will power evaporating, leaving him with the primal instinct that was not above doing the nasty in an alleyway.  
Axel smiled and turned to go back into the building.  
“Stop”   
Against his better judgement, Riku grabbed Axel by the arm. The redhead turned.   
Have you learnt anything new?”  
“I don’t know what you mean” A look of innocence graced his features, as always, it looked out of place.  
“You know exactly what I mean.” He tilted his head towards the alley, not wanted to look desperate, but was doing a bad job hiding it.   
“| thought you had a reputation to uphold.”  
“Fuck it.”  
Axel had a way of making him not care. He had a new tattoo on the back of his neck. Three stars. Riku traced his fingers over the ink, relishing in the feel of Axel’s skin under his fingers. He pushed the redhead against the wall and kissed him hard. The kiss interrupted as Axel grinned and started to undo Riku’s belt. Riku dragged him behind the metal dumpster at the end of the alleyway. So much for romance, but he knew that it was something Axel would never give him. The only thing that was left of them was that moment of shuddering gratification.  
What felt like seconds later, Axel got up of his knees and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and joined Riku leaning against the wall. He lit a new cigarette, Riku took it out of Axel’s mouth and took a long drag, blowing the smoke out of his mouth before putting it back where it came from.  
“So” Axel paused “Are you still single.”  
“You think I would have let you blow me behind a dumpster if I was.”  
“Damn, I thought I was a bad influence on you. What about the twink you’ve been seen with? The one you kicked me out for.”  
“His name is Roxas and I kicked you out because it wasn’t working anymore. Roxas and I are not together”  
The last part of the sentence was sad, then Riku finally heard what Axel had said.  
“How do you know? Have you been spying on me?”  “I’ve been bribing a photographer.” Axel grinned  
It was another one of Axel’s statements that he couldn’t figure out was a joke or not.  
“Are you still single?” This time it was Riku’s turn to ask.  
“Even though you think I have the morals of a waste paper basket, yes I am.”  
The stage door creaked open behind them.  
“Ax, the band want a word”  
“I’ll go then” Riku stood up.  
“Was he bothering you?”  
Even though he was short, the lilac haired man standing in the doorway was able to look menacing.  
“It’s ok Zex, go back inside, I’ll be there in a minute.” He turned to go into the building. See you around Riku.”  
“That’s Riku?” The other man said a little too loudly “What’s he doing here?”  
“He came to see the show, like he promised.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me? He’s the one who kicked you out.”  
“And you said you’d take care of me didn’t you baby.” Said Axel in a sing song voice as he leant down in the door way to kiss the other man loudly on the cheek.  
Zexion rolled his eyes, used to the melodrama.  
“Whatever. You coming inside or not?”  
“I thought you said you were single”  
“You forgot something about me Riku, I’m a liar.”  
Riku finally realised that he had never really know Axel at all, who knows what else he had lied about. He’d done it again and got inside his head. Riku watched him go inside, not wanting to even look at him anymore.

Spurred on by his last conversation with Axel, Riku knew he had to do something about Roxas, he had to move on.   
He’d been out of the public eye for a while, with the press speculating that he’d become a recluse. It was time for a comeback.  
He’d seen Roxas a few times at bars since the charity date, they’d chatted, kissed a couple of times in the shadows, then they would smile at each other and that was it.  
At the gym the following night the blonde was particularly distracting, flexing his leg muscles on the machines. He watched him for a while, then when the blonde left, he followed home, staying in the shadows,   
“You’re a terrible stalker.” Roxas called, when they were half way down the street.  
Riku stepped into the light of a street lamp.  
“Actually, I thought I was pretty good.”  
“I knew it was you when I left the gym. I was just wanted to know why you were following me.”  
“You are just too adorable and independent and I love it when you smile.”  
Roxas had never heard Riku’s voice falter before and he doubted anyone ever had.  
I just wanted to give you this.” He passed Roxas his business card and leant forward to give him a light kiss on the cheek. “Call me sometime.”   
Then he turned on is heels and walked away, leaving the blonde standing in the middle of the street, mouth open, completely speechless.  
Riku heard his house phone ring as soon as he got inside.  
“I know it’s etiquette to wait a couple of days.” Said Roxas, his voice rushed as it he thought Riku hadn’t meant what he said and would put the phone down.  
“Slow down Rox.”  
“Hey ‘Ku” He said shyly “I’m calling you.”  
“So you are.”  
“What are you doing?”  
“I’ve just got home.”  
He took the phone up the stairs and undid his shoes.   
“I have an early meeting tomorrow.”  
“Do you want me to go?”  
“We can meet for lunch tomorrow. The restaurant opposite the gym.”  
“The Rosary? That’s really expensive.”  
“It’s our first date, I’m taking you out. It’s really private, secluded.”  
The line went silent.  
“Rox, you still there?”  
“Yes”  
“Are you ok? I’ll see you at 1.”  
Riku threw himself on the sofa and opened the email on his phone. There was another one from Axel, sitting in his inbox. Another email that he was never going to answer. They had started arriving the day after he last saw him. It was like Axel had changed his mind as soon as he had found someone else.  
R  
I heard that you’ve met someone. I hope he makes you happy and that he’s stronger than I was. I hope that I will find someone else like you one day, you will forever be the one who got away.  
A   
They were his little secret, not that he wanted one, but the emails just kept coming. Axel was just trying to get into mess with his head, saying the things that Riku had always wanted to hear from him. But, they were just words.

 

*******************************************************

Riku and Roxas were sitting curled up together on the sofa on their fifth date half watching a black and white movie. Roxas moved slowly and before Riku could piece together the series of movements, Roxas had straddled him and was grinding his lap and kissing his neck. wet kisses that made Riku shiver. It was when Roxas started to put his hands down his jeans, that Riku grabbed his wrist.  
“No Rox. not like this.”  
“I thought this was what you wanted.”  
The blonde slid back onto the sofa, Riku turned to face him.  
“Why?”    
“I’ve heard things. About your ex”  
“Who from?”  
“People.”  
“I chose you because you are nothing like him. I want us to mean something. I want what we are going to do to mean something. Don’t listen to people Rox, please.”   
Riku leant forward and kissed him softly.  
“Lets watch the rest of the movie.”  
“I can’t do this anymore”  
“You can’t do what?”  
“This... with you.”  
“I don’t understand”  
“ I like you. I want us to go out and you know do proper couple stuff. You know, like our first date.”  
“Go out where people can stare and pass judgement. We stay at home to keep you safe. I don’t go to nice places.”  
“You’re the one that’s famous, not me and I can handle it. I’m not as fragile as you think I am.”  
“Ok, We’ll go out tonight. We’ll go to the bar at the top of town, but I reserve the right to say I told you so if you want to leave early. You’ll have to bear with me though, I haven’t been out on an actual date in public with an official boyfriend since I’ve been on TV.”  
“Not ever? I feel privileged.”  
“Wait until it’s over, before you say that. You’ll be in the papers tomorrow.”  
“I don’t care, as long as I’m in them with you.”

 

************************************************

Roxas picked up his mobile one lunchtime after a giant bunch of roses arrived as the gallery. He was fed up of the dirty looks and jealous comments he got every day, just because Riku liked to send him things.  
“Please could you stop sending flowers to the gallery?” He pleaded down the phone when Riku picked up.  
“Don’t you like them?”  
“Yes, but could you just restrain yourself a little?”   
“Why?”  
“I don’t mind you indulging your romantic side, in fact I love that you have one, but the others are getting jealous. A dozen red roses every day is a bit excessive. The place is starting to smell like a bowl of pot pouri.”  
“Don’t you want anymore?” Riku sounded disappointed in the receiver, making Roxas’ heart ache.  
“I didn’t say that. Once a week is fine.”  
“Ok Rox, but you know I’d give you the world if I could.”  
“I know ‘Ku. See you when I get home, I’ll try not to be late.”

 

******************************************************

“Next up is the new single by ‘Refrain of Denial”  
The morning radio DJ slid up the music and it blared from the stereo. Roxas turned it up and tapped his foot in time as he made pancake batter. He was stirring the batter, not noticing that Riku had arrived home from the gym and had followed the earsplitting noise into the kitchen.  
“Turn that racket off” he shouted  
Roxas turned it down  
“Why?”  
“I just don’t like them.”  
Riku opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer. He hoped that the query would be left unasked, but obviously underestimated Roxas’ sense of curiosity.  
“I have my reasons Rox, trust me. Just don’t ask, ok?”  
“It was a guy, wasn’t it?”  
“Huh?”  
The correct deduction by the blonde took him by surprise. He opened his beer and sat down at the kitchen table  
“He was obsessed with this band. Practically stalked them on tour. He was away for months and had a lot of admirers. I don’t know if he cheated, but he came back once and he was different. He wasn’t in love with me. That band ruined my life.”    
“Ok, I’ll turn it off.”  
Riku was way too melodramatic sometimes, he sounded like a teenage girl.


	6. Chapter 6

5 years later

Riku and Roxas were walking in the local park, kicking leaves when Riku noticed a flash of red in his peripheral vision. He grabbed Roxas’ hand and dragged him behind a tree.  
“What was that about?” said Roxas as Riku let go of his hand.  
“I thought I saw something.”  
They continued walking through the park.  
“Riku”   
Riku heard his name and turned to see a man with bright red hair jogging up behind them. He’s in an expensive looking grey suit and a black leather trench coat.   
“Wait.”  
He reluctantly stopped.  
“Looking good ‘Ku”  
Axel looked Riku up and down, his gaze stopping at the concealed muscular arms. He finally looked away and noticed the blonde standing next to him.  
“This must be my replacement” His voice was low, but Riku heard.  
He put his arm around Roxas’ shoulders and squeezed them lightly before letting go.  
“This is Roxas.”  
Axel raised an eyebrow and surveyed the blonde, then turned his attention back to Riku.  
“Your new project?”  
“No” He snapped “How’s the band?” Riku quickly changed the subject.  
“The vocalist quit so I took over, not the manager anymore. We have a new album out next year, only need some artwork.”  
“I draw.” said Roxas suddenly.  
Riku felt embarrassed that he’d forgotten he was there. Axel still had a strange effect on him, made him feel like they were the only people on the planet.  
Roxas pulled some scrunched up paper out of the bag he was carrying and handed them to Axel who gave him a cursory look.  
“Not bad. Come by the office tomorrow and we can talk.”  
He handed Roxas a card and grinned at him.  
“Bye Roxas. See you around ‘Ku.”  
Riku felt instantly suspicious. It can’t have been a coincidence that he’d turned up and knew Rox could draw. He was up to something, but to be fair, he could have got the information from anywhere.  
He noticed that Roxas watched him leave in awe. He turned to Riku  
“How do you know him? He’s the lead singer of ‘Refrain of Denial’”  
“It was before I met you, before he got his big break”  
“What happened?”  
“It’s complicated.”  
“Were you together?”  
“It’s a long story.”  
“You love me right?”  
“Absolutely.”  
Riku put his arms around the blonde’s shoulders and kissed him on the forehead before they walked home.

 

***************************************************

Sitting up in bed on a weekend morning, Roxas trawled through the official website of ‘Refrain of Denial’ for tour dates. Riku sat next to him, peering over his shoulder, listening to random facts about a band that he hated and would only go to see if Hell froze over or if Roxas desperately wanted to go.  
“Did you know that Zexion is the writer. Apparently, he wrote ‘Bless my soul’ about an ex. There are rumors going around that it’s about Axel.”  
Riku felt his stomach clench. The comment was off hand, but for some reason it still hurt, linking Axel with someone else. Roxas didn’t know the whole story and Riku was not going to tell him.  
He’d want to meet him and that would be a big mistake.  
“But, I think it’s about Marluxia” Roxas continued “I always get shouted down on the forums though”  
“Could be about any one of the groupies that hang around.” Riku said, his voice taking on a spiteful tone.  
“You’re only jealous ‘Ku”  
“Jealous of the groupies?” He sputtered “They should be jealous of me.”  
He kissed Roxas very loudly on the lips and swiped the laptop out of his hands. His slender fingers stroking the mouse pad slowly, scrolling through picture after picture of the band. At gigs, on the town, mostly of that goddamn redhead.

 

************************************************

“What are you doing Rox?”  
“Drawing.”  
Riku was standing by the open french windows, moonlight shining on his silver hair that he’d tied into a low ponytail. His white shirt was open at the neck, the light highlighting muscular arms.  
“What are you drawing?”  
“You”  
Riku looked over at him and raised an eyebrow  
“You have so many stuffy pictures on walls in buildings. I wanted to draw the real you.”  
“You have the real me right here.”  
Riku strode across their bedroom, removing the pencil and paper from Roxas’ grip and placed them gently on the bedside table.  
He leant over Roxas and gently kissed him. Roxas smiled and kissed him harder, pulling Riku down on top of him.

 

**********************************************

“Why did you say such mean things about me to Riku?”  
Roxas and Axel had met up to discuss Roxas’ art, moving from the office to the park, on the way to the rehearsal studio on the other side of the city.  
Axel silently traced the edge of his polystyrene take out cup with his long fingers. He watched the rain out the front of the wooden shelter with half lidded eyes.  
Roxas nervously ran his fingers over the green metal bench they were sitting on then sipped is drink before looking across at the redhead expectantly, waiting for an answer. Axel sipped his coffee.  
“I was jealous.”  
Roxas frowned  
“What do you have to be jealous about?”   
“You are the way Riku wanted me to be”   
“Oh”  
Roxas drank his coffee, embarrassed at the sudden emotional outburst from a virtual stranger.  
“I’ve spoken you once before, when I came back from a tour. It was a couple of years ago, but I’ve never forgotten your voice.”  
“I can’t remember.”  
“I called to speak to Riku. You answered and I asked you what you were doing in Riku’s house. You said that you were his boyfriend and what business was it of mine.”  
“You said that you were no-one important and hung up. That was you?”  
“Yeah”  
They watch the rain in silence, waiting for it to abate.  
“Were you together?”  
Roxas had to ask, but he knew he was pushing it. He’d never got this information out of Riku. Axel grinned, all teeth, eyes shining.   
“Let’s meet the band”


	7. Chapter 7

Axel liked the way Roxas clung to his arm as the entered the building where the rehearsal studio was.   
“Don’t be nervous.” He whispered in Roxas’ ear “I’ll protect you.”  
Roxas let go of his arm like it was on fire  
“I’m fine. Quit flirting with me.” he snapped “Let’s get on with this.”  
He felt quite calm for someone who was about to meet his favourite band. He marched ahead and pushed the double doors. It was in a large rehearsal space with a stage at one end. On stage a blue haired man was beating out a rhythm on the drums. Next to him a blonde with a weird mohawk come mullet was tuning his bass. A guitar sat alone against a speaker, it’s owner nowhere to be seen.  
“Roxie.” Said Axel as he came up behind him as he watched in awe. “Meet Refrain of Denial.”  
“Guys” he shouted over the noise “This is Roxas, he’s designing our album cover.”  
“Really? Thanks Axel.” The blonde hugged him hard.  
Axel was a bit taken aback that the kid could turn his favour so quickly.   
The band looked up, the drummer scrunched up his face as though he recognized the blonde from somewhere. He obviously dismissed it as he picked up his drumsticks and joined the rest of the band in front of Axel.  
“Roxas, this is Zexion, he plays the drums.”  
Roxas rolled his eyes and nodded in the direction of the drumsticks that Zexion was holding.  
Axel ignored him and continued.  
“Demyx plays bass and Marluxia’s the main guitar, fuck knows where he is.”  
“Fuck me” A loud voice came from behind the curtain backstage  
A man with long black hair highlighted with grey, stuck his head around the curtain. He was muscular and scarred.  
“He’s out back with Larxene.”  
“Roxie, this is Xiggy our roadie. Ignore him, he’s just a horny little shit.”  
“Who are you calling little?”  
Xigbar strode up to Axel, he was at least an inch taller.  
“What’s all the bitching for?”  
Marluxia emerged from back stage, doing his trousers up. His pink hair a mess. He got to the centre stage before noticing Roxas.  
“We have company? Why didn’t anyone tell me.”  
“You were busy” growled Zexion  
“Down boy.” Marluxia grinned.  
“Bite me”  
They glared at each other in silence.  
“Let’s show Roxas what we do best” Said Demyx, ignoring the glares.  
He grabbed Zexion by the arm, pulled him to him to the drums and forcibly sat him down.  
“Play” he demanded  
Zexion started a beat, it was slow and languid. Not what Roxas was expecting from a Goth Rock band. Roxas didn’t know Axel had left his side until his vocals merged with the bass and the lead guitar. The song was a ballad and as much as he admired Marluxia’s guitar playing, he only heard Axel’s vice, everything else was a fog.  
“What do you think?” Demyx called from the stage.  
Roxas blinked a few times to regain his focus. His stomach rolling with guilt.  
“We usually play rock, but this one was for the fans.”  
Axel rolled his eyes at the last comment.  
Zexion just stared at the blonde, his eyed narrowed. Roxas was beginning to feel a little creeped out.  
Before he had time to answer, the door opened.  
“Where’s our new artist, yo” Roxas turned to see an almost duplicate copy of Axel, but this one looked a little older and had longer hair. He was also wearing a pinstriped suit. Axel took a deep breath.  
“Reno, this is Roxas. Roxas, this is Reno, our manager.”  
“And his big brother.” His smirk was the same as the younger version. He shook Roxas’ hand.  
“Pleased to meetcha. I hope meeting this lot hasn’t put you off working with us, yo.’  
“The music was really good.” He squeaked  
“I just need to go over some paperwork. Let’s go to my office.”  
Whilst Roxas signed piece of paper after piece of paper, the band jammed on the other side of the room.  
Axel sat on the edge of the stage, long legs hanging off the edge. He was unusually quiet, listening and watching Roxas closely. Xigbar thumped down next to him.  
“He’s cute.”  
Axel nodded mutely.  
“He with you or can I have a crack at him?”  
“I thought you were hooking up with Dem?”  
“He won’t mind.”  
“No and no.” The redhead said shortly. Xigbar, sensing a temper tantrum if he said one more word silently departed.  
20 minutes later Roxas appeared on the stage at his side.  
“All sorted” he said happily  
“We’re going for a drink, want to join us?” Marluxia called from behind them.  
“Shit, Axel, what time is it?’  
“After 6, why?”  
“I’m gonna be late. I promised Riku I’d be home early.”  
Axel felt his mood darken  
“It’s our 6 year anniversary today and he said he had something planned.  
“That’s not Riku, the billionaires son, is it? I knew I’d seen you somewhere before.” Zexion finally spoke, which from the look of his bandmates faces, was very unusual.  
“You’re Riku’s latest boy toy?” asked Xigbar  
“I’m his boyfriend, yes.” snapped Roxas, annoyed he’d been referred to as temporary. “I have to go home now, see you in a few days.”  
Roxas rushed out of the studio and started the 10 block walk home. He found the door open when he arrived home.  
“‘Ku” He shouted. The sound echoed around the empty hallway.  
“I’m in the kitchen”  
He found Riku in nothing but a pair of leather trousers and a pink frilly apron. It had been a present from his mother and he’d felt bad not using it. He was in front of the oven, taking something out of it.  
“How was your day dear?” Roxas asked after standing in the doorway for a few minutes admiring the view.  
“Thrilling, and you?”  
“I got the job”  
“Well done.” Riku’s voice lowered. “Does that mean you’ll be seeing Axel every day?”  
“‘Ku, are you jealous? No, it means I’ll see his brother Reno every few days to go over proofs and redesigns. You have nothing to worry about, especially looking like that” Roxas laughed  
Riku had met Reno a few times, and genuinely liked the guy. How he ended up with a brother like Axel was beyond him. They were complete opposites. He was a hard working family man, married to a Tai Quon Do instructor called Yuffie who was just a deranged as he was. He wore a suit to work and had impeccable manners, but he had an irritating habit of adding Yo to the end of sentences.  
“Happy anniversary.” Riku threw his oven gloves at Roxas who caught them.  
Roxas didn’t know why he didn’t tell Riku about what happened with Axel. He justified that he didn’t want to spoil the day and would tell him tomorrow. It would only upset him anyway. Riku also had his secrets. He thought that Roxas hadn’t noticed the way he always locked his computer and had password blocked his emails, like there was something he didn’t want Roxas to see.

****************************************************

 

3 months later

Riku threw a copy of a celebrity magazine at Roxas. The picture was of them at a charity ball a year ago, it had a jagged black line between them and the caption ‘Beginning of the end?’.  
“You knew what the deal was when we got together. This band is too old for you and are wildly inappropriate. If I loose my reputation, that’s it, no more lucrative deals or charity functions or television work. No-one will hire me for decades. Then what would we do?”  
“Not everything revolves around you Riku. It really grinds that I have friends doesn’t it.  
“Just one friend in particular.” He whispered.  
“I lost my friends when we got together. They were fed up with being in the papers all the time. I miss them. Pence, ‘Lette, Hay, even Hay’s irritating boyfriend.”  
“I’m sorry Rox”  
“You’re being such a ‘Ku ‘Ku Clock. Why do you hate them so much?”  
The nickname only came out when Riku was being paranoid and in Roxas’ opinion, completely insane.  
“I have my reasons. Why do you hang out with them, when you could be here with me?”  
“We have fun, we drink beer, we play games at Zexion’s”  
“Look at the picture, you have been seen pouring yourselves out of clubs at 3am? What do you know about them? This band.” Riku said the last two words like they were poison.  
“Zexy loves books and can quote Loveless from back to front. Dem was a gymnast in high school until he injured his knee. He took up the guitar in hospital. Marly has an allotment and grows prize winning Begonias. Xiggy’s just Xiggy.”  
“What about Axel?” Riku noticed that he’d been left till last. Not that he wanted to know how well his ex was doing without him.  
“He bakes cakes for people’s birthdays, speaks French, can beat me on guitar hero with isn’t humanly possible and you’re right, he’s a complete ass.  
Riku rolled his eyes  
“We are all just friends, no need to panic”  
“You can’t go anywhere with him”  
“Axel? Why not?”  “Just please don’t” Riku was virtually on his knees. “He’ll want you because he can’t have you. He takes things that don’t belong to him. He’ll taunt you and tease you and flirt with you until you have no resistance left and all you can think of for every second of every day is him. He’ll bury himself so far into your life that you won’t remember what it was like without him. It’s all a game, it excites him, messing around with someones head.  
“He stole you didn’t he?”  
“Just don’t get suckered in like I did. He was a mistake that almost cost me my career.”  
“Trust me ‘Ku, that’s all I ask. I love you.”  
“The guy is cold hearted, calculated and a pathological liar.”  
“People can change.”  
“Not this one.”

*************************************************

 

Axel was all tattoos and piercings and flamboyance on stage. Off stage, he was someone else entirely that not many people had the privilege of seeing. The casual jeans and t-shirt combo and beer. Lots of beer.  
It had been a couple of weeks since the blonde had got the job and they were in Reno’s office going over artwork. The elder redhead had left hours ago, returning to his son and wife on the other side of the city.   
It was dark outside, street lights shining through the windows. They sat in silence, hands grazing each others when they both reached for the same page of the art book. Roxas pulled his hand back as if it had been burnt.  
“Van would go crazy if he knew I was doing this.” Roxas slurred  
Axel frowned  
“He’s my brother.”  
“You’ve never mentioned him.”  
“Half brother, his name is Vanitus, he’s 10 years older than me. I haven’t spoken to him for years, way before I met Riku. Shame, they would have got along. He was only child from Mum’s first marriage to a biker called Vinny. Last I heard he’d been busted for carrying a concealed weapon in an airport. Then she met Dad and they had me. I was a surprise”  
“I’ve just got Reno. Mum died when I was 15. I went a bit off the rails, I was angry”   
He looked up at Roxas and was surprised that he didn’t show the usual look of sympathy he usually got when he told that part of his story. He was sick of that look. He usually just told it for a sympathy lay anyway.  
Axel continued, faltering slightly never having never expanded on his life story before.  
“It started with swiping hubcaps, then I joined a gang and boosted cars.”   
“The worst thing I’ve done is take an extra couple of sweets from the pick n’ mix”  
Axel smiled at the admission, giving Roxas a few more details felt like the right thing to do   
“I got caught when I was 17, got a 6 month suspended sentence. The next time I got caught was when I was 18, classed as an adult I would have had to do hard time. Reno covered for me, Dad found out eventually and kicked me out and that was when I met Riku.”   
They sat in silence again, looking at the pictures in Roxas’ sketch book. Slowly leafing through the pages.   
“What actually happened. With you and Riku?” Roxas asked quietly. He knew he wouldn’t get the information from Riku, but he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.  
“It was before I got my big break. I wasn’t ready for the whole dating scene, not ready to be the person Riku wanted me to be. Going to the charity benefits, being seen with him in public, stuff like that. I used to see how far I could push him, like I said, I was angry, but he always took care of me. I got the management job and we both changed, whatever we had just didn’t work anymore. It look longer than I predicted for him to kick me to the curb like everyone else and subtlety is not my strong point. After he kicked me out, I stayed with Reno and his family until I went on tour and got a place of my own when I got back. I’ve never even told Riku about my criminal record. He would have dropped me like a shot.”  
“Wasn’t that what you wanted?”  
“No, it was more fun being a drunken bum for a while.” Axel grinned.  
Roxas grimaced. He felt sorry for Riku, no wonder he had a problem with Axel, he took advantage of him.  
“You won’t tell him will you? Can I trust you?”  
“Of course”  
Roxas downed his beer.  
“Thanks Roxy. Dad tried his best, but Reno has always kept an eye on me. I want him to be proud of me.”  
“You’re the lead singer of successful rock band, who wouldn’t be proud of that?”  
“He would really like me to settle down and find someone nice.”   
Axel smiled shyly and Roxas blushed. Could he be lying about that too? Playing him, like he did Riku.  
“Axel is an unusual name” He said, wanting to change the subject a quickly as possible.   
“This wasn’t my given name. The gang gave me the name.”  
“What’s your real name?”  
“Lea”.  
Then he was back to his normal if slightly drunk self. He leant over and kissed Roxas gently on the lips.  
“I’m not like that anymore.   
“Prove it. Riku said you’re a liar. Have you been telling me the truth?”  
“Have I had any reason to lie to you? After we split, I changed. I felt ready to be a proper boyfriend to someone. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I weren’t such a screw up when I met Riku. Would I still be with him? Would I be playing happy families and be on the cover of a celebrity magazine every other week. Then I think, I wouldn’t be who I am now and I wouldn’t have met you.”  
“You’re drunk”  
“Not as drunk as you.”  
“Be good to Riku, he’s a good guy. He’ll treat you right even if it kills him. 

Roxas opened the door quietly when he returned home and walked into the kitchen, to find Riku at the kitchen table with a nearly empty bottle of wine and a glass.   
“You’re late.” Riku slurred  
“I was working.”  
Riku swayed over to the blonde and sniffed his neck.  
“You smell different, kinda musky.”  
“We went to a bar.”  
Roxas had to tread carefully with his words. Riku never said words like kinda unless he was up to something.   
“You smell like Axel.” He tilted his head like he was focusing.  
How could he know that?  
“I borrowed his coat. It was cold.”  
“I would have come to pick you up.”  
Riku’s eyed narrowed with suspicion. He leant closer to Roxas’ ear.  
“You fucked him didn’t you?” His words were cold and calculating.  
“‘Ku.” Roxas said gently “You know you get extra suspicious when you’ve had wine. Probably a good idea to quit while you can still stand. Come to bed and we can talk about it in the morning.”  
“You haven’t denied it.” A finger of suspicion pointed in Roxas’ chest.  
“Riku, you have the trust me. I haven’t touched him.”  
“I trust you, I just don’t trust him. I know what he’s like.”  
Roxas looked down at the floor.  
“You’re hiding something.”  
“We kissed. That’s all, I promise.”  
But when he kissed me, I forgot how to breathe.  
Riku picked up one of the empty wine bottles and threw it against the wall  
“Get out.” He screamed. He didn’t look angry, just sad.  
Roxas turned, grabbed a bottle of bourbon from the kitchen and left the house, slamming the door. He aimlessly walked, not knowing where to go, just letting his feet guide him.  
He bashed his fist on the door of the rehearsal studio, buoyant and warmed from the half bottle of bourbon he had already consumed. He knew Axel liked to work late sometimes writing songs and was hoping that he was still there.  
The door was answered by a bleary looking redhead with mussed up hair and jogging bottoms. Roxas has never seen him looking so sexy, but that could have been the alcohol talking.  
“Roxie?”  
“Do you want me?” He said barging past him and pushing him into a wall  
“You’re drunk, what happened?”  
Axel took the half full bottle and put it on the ground.  
“Riku’s mad at me” He said in short bursts as he kissed Axel’s neck.  
“Shouldn’t you go back and talk it through?”  
“Why? Do you want me or not?”  
“Stupid question.”  
“Is that a no, cos I could always get a motel for the night.”  
“What do you think.”  
Axel grabbed Roxas and pulled him to wards him and kissed him hard.  
“Right here, right now.” Roxas breathed heavily.


	8. Chapter 8

Roxas woke up the next morning with the sun blazing through the windows. He felt an arm over his chest. He turned to face some wilted red spikes, not the usual silver.  
His head pounded and his stomach churned. What had he done?  
“Shit” He mouthed quietly  
He slowly rolled over on the wooden floor of the stage. Memories of the night before flooding his brain. Being taken hard and fast over Zexion’s drum kit being one of them. He found his phone. 5.30 am. He checked the messages. 16 from Riku. Drunken apologies then crying apologies asking him to come home.  
He felt sick, not just from the bourbon. He’d betrayed his Riku.   
He got up to find his clothes that were spread around the studio.   
“Roxie?” The bleary voice came from the redhead. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and watched Roxas rush around in a frenzy.  
“This was a mistake. I’m so sorry.”  
Roxas hurriedly put on his clothes and rushed out the door leaving Axel confused and a little upset.  
He got to the house to find Riku already dressed for work and heading out the front door.  
“I lost my key.” he said sheepishly  
“I have to go to work, we’ll talk about this when I get home.” He kissed Roxas on the cheek and left.  
Riku arrived home at 6.30 and Roxas noticed that his eyes were red rimmed.  
“Where did you say you lost your keys?” He said  
“I didn’t”  
Riku threw a newspaper at the blonde, nearly knocking over his coffee.  
“Evening edition.”  
He reached for the bottle of bourbon and couldn’t find it. He found some Vodka, poured a shot, drank it and poured another.  
“Look at the front page.  
A grainy photo of him coming out of the recording studio stared out at him. The headline: Has Riku’s boy gone bad?  
“Explain” Said Riku  
“I didn’t know where else to go.”  
“Why there? You could have gone to your parents.”  
“They would have been asleep.”  
Riku considered the comment, then frowned. He looked at the picture again and noticed something.  
“I didn’t know you owned a shirt like that?”  
Before Roxas could say anything, Riku had run up the stairs to the washing basket and had pulled out the offending article.  
He stood at the top of the stairs and sniffed it.  
“You fucked him didn’t you?’  
“You’re insane, ‘Ku ‘Ku Clock”  
“You can’t sweet talk me this time Roxas. This shirt smells of sweat and sex and that goddamn redhead.”  
“Yes, is that the answer you wanted to hear? Yes. It was hot and loud and I loved it.”  
Riku sank down on the stairs and started to cry.  
“6 years and it all ends like this?”  
He looked up at Roxas.  
“I want you to leave. I don’t have to put up with this. Tonight you can sleep on the sofa. You know where everything is.”  
“Why don’t I leave right now?”  
“Do you even like him?”  
“I don’t know.” Roxas replied as he walked down the stairs and out the front door, leaving Riku to watch in silence.  
Roxas wandered the streets and ends up on the doorstep of Zexion’s place. He knocked on the door and rang the doorbell a few times until an irate looking Marluxia in only his boxers answered the door.  
“Rox?” He said sleepily “What are you doing here at ..” He turned towards the clock “3.15 in the morning?”  
“Riku kicked me out.”  
“Zex, we have an emergency.” Marluxia called up the stairs.  
Minutes later, looking like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards and wearing a dressing gown and fluffy slippers, Zexion emerged from his bedroom.  
Roxas felt like he was intruding, he’d only ever seen Zexion looking immaculate.  
Zexion went into the kitchen and returned seconds later with what looked like whiskey and ice. He ushered the blonde to the sofa and he sat with Marluxia on the one opposite. He raised and eyebrow in a manner that suggested he spill his guts.  
“He bugged me so much about Axel that I did something stupid. Now we’re over and I’ve lost him for good. Also I don’t think Axel will ever talk to me again.”  
Zexion and Marluxia shared a look, then threw a blanket that was on top of the sofa at Roxas.  
“Stay here until you sort yourself out. Just don’t use Marly’s shampoo, he can get a bit pissy.”  
It sounded like Zexion was speaking from experience.

For the next week Roxas called Riku every hour, even in the middle of the night apologizing profusely. Some times horse from crying, sometimes angry. Riku never picked up. Once the house phone voicemail was full, Roxas started the assault on his mobile phone, hoping Riku hadn’t changed his number.  
On the second week, he called the home number on the off chance and heard a click on the other end of the line.  
“Roxas, please stop calling me. I’d rather not talk to you.”  
“I’m so sorry Riku. It was a one time thing. You were so paranoid, I was driven to it.”  
“Don’t pin this on me Roxie.” Riku spat, sounding a lot like Axel, who wasn’t speaking to him either. “You had a choice. You chose to betray me. I’m a role model, I have to set a good example.”  
He started to hang up.  
“Riku.” Roxas said quietly “Please forgive me. I love you. Let me come home.”  
The voice was so quiet and pitiful that the elder man took a deep breath and listened.  
“Where are you living now?” He asked cautiously, expecting him to say with Axel and break what little was left of his heart.  
“I’ve got my old room back at my parents.”  
“Did you tell them why you moved back in?”  
Riku had liked Roxas’ parents, they wouldn’t be happy with Roxas telling them that he’d cheated.  
“I just said that we’d had an argument, they didn’t pry into the details. They aren’t too happy with me either. They think I’ve thrown away one of the best things to ever happen to me.”   
Roxas was trying to appeal to the romantic in Riku and he could see right through it.  
“Take care of yourself Roxas....”  
“I fucked up ‘Ku, I’m sorry. The project is done, I’ll never see him again. I’ll do anything you want.”  
The words were garbled and desperate. Riku could only just make them out.  
“You had a choice.” He said sharply, before hanging up.  
The aggressive move was more for his benefit than the blondes. A sense of closure.

Riku pounded on the door of the recording studio early the next morning. A short man with blue grey hair he recognised as Zexion, answered the door and was shoved aside as Riku barreled through.  
“Axel,” He shouted “Get down here you miserable piece of shit.”  
Axel, recognizing the voice craned his neck around the door of the recording studio and recoiled it instantly.  
“Why Roxas?” Riku bellowed “Of all the people in the city. Actually, of all the people in the world, why him? Was it because he was mine?”  
Axel walked cautiously down the stairs towards his raging ex, wary of any sudden movements.  
“Roxie came to me because he wanted to.”  
Riku stepped forward, assaulted by the smell of the redhead, one he’d never really forgotten.  
“He wasn’t yours to play with.”  
“He’s not yours anymore either.”  
The nuances in Axel’s drawl, the confidence in the tone. It took all Riku’s willpower not to jump him right there. This was why he’d never answered his emails, asking to meet, knowing he would just give in and he had had made a promise to Roxas, not to cheat.  
“Maybe I did it so I could see you again. You never answered any of my emails.”  
Riku punched him in the face. Axel toppled backwards against the wall. He rubbed his jaw. Riku had never been sure when Axel was joking, better to play it safe.  
“I’ve moved on.”  
“Then, why are you here?”  
Cocky asshole  
“If you have any feelings for Roxas, any interest in him at all, please go and see him.”  
He pressed a piece of paper into Axel’s hand  
“Why are you doing this?”  
“I’m not completely heartless like you. Even though he betrayed me, I still love him and want him to be happy. Just don’t tell him it was me.”  
Riku turned away and left, not looking back. if he had, he would have seen Axel smile.  
“I’m gonna see Roxie” he shouted to the rest of the band as he left the building.


	9. Chapter 9

Curtains twitched on either side of the street of the terraced houses, obviously not accustomed to seeing a spiky redhead in an immaculate pinstripe suit and very shiny shoes getting out of a black convertible down their street at 3pm.  
Axel took a little piece of paper out of his pocket and stared at Riku’s elegant scrawl.  
Was he ready to do this? Now was the time to find out. He’d planned it perfectly, ‘Refrain of Denial’ were going on tour the next day for a six month tour of the world.  
He stopped in front of number 56 and stood there, aware of the curtains and people staring.  
He crumpled the little piece of paper into a ball and put it into the pocket of this black floor length leather coat. Ringing the doorbell twice, he heard thumping down the stairs before the red door with the flaking paint opened and a man with spiky blonde hair and bright blue eyes stood in the doorway.  
“Who are you?” the man snapped  
Definitely a relative of Roxas.  
“I’m Axel”  
“Who is it?” came a female voice from somewhere else in the house.  
“The nice man who gave Roxas that art job, Teef.”  
“Rox is in his room” She shouted “Can’t get him to leave it.”  
“Sorry, Axel, can you come back another day.”  
“I can’t, I have to go on tour tomorrow.”  
“Go up then, his room is the second on the left. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”  
Axel looked down at his feet. It was partly his fault that Roxas was like this. Well, mostly his fault.  
“Thank you....”  
“Cloud”  
He stepped inside the house and went up the stairs. Roxas’ room was not that hard to find. Outside it, a dark haired woman was knocking on the door softly  
“Roxas honey, there’s someone here to see you.”  
“Riku?” came the voice from inside  
Tifa indicated for Axel to slowly open the door.  
“Roxie, it’s me” He said softly  
Roxas was sitting at a desk that faced a large window that looked out over a long back garden. He indicated for Axel to shut the door, not even turning to look at him.  
Axel made his way towards the desk, picking up some crumpled sheets of paper. It looked like it had been ripped from an art book. The pictures were of Riku.  
“This is really good.”  
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Roxas turned, his eyes bloodshot like he hadn’t slept in days. “You were a mistake, a stupid one that cost me Riku.”  
“Did you tell him that?”  
“Of course I did. He said I’d made my choice and kicked me out.”  
“Sound’s like Riku. He won’t stand for any betrayal.”  
“What are you doing here, you’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”  
“Not many people come running, if they were told they were a mistake.”  
“Fair point.”  
Axel sat down on the end of the bed, opposite the desk.  
“I was given your address and told to come and see you.”  
“Which dumbass told you to do that?”  
“I can’t reveal my sources”  
“Why now?”  
“I wanted to see you before we go on tour. Give us both time to think. Get a grip Roxie, It’s been a month already. If he hasn’t taken you back by now, he never will. It’s time to move on.”  
He leant forward, wheeling Roxas on his office chair  
“I like you. You’re fun to be around until you get all moody and insecure”  
He leant in closer and kissed the surprised blonde on the lips.  
“Give me a call when I get back.”  
Axel handed Roxas a card with his number and a date on it.  
“See you around Roxie.”  
Then he got up and left the room. Roxas heard him in the corridor talking to his parents. Saying that he couldn’t get Roxas to leave his room.  
He sat in silence.   
What was wrong with him? Axel was going to leave thinking that he wasn’t interested at all and would probably meet someone else when he was away. The goosebumps when the redhead touched him could not be ignored.  
His heart in his mouth, he opened the door and rushed into the corridor just in time to see a shock of red hair going through the front door.  
He ran to the front bedroom and threw open the windows. He could see the curtains twitch, but he didn’t care.  
“I expect souvenirs” he shouted out the window.  
Axel looked up from his car and saluted.

After six months of phone calls and Skype, Axel opened the door to Roxas’ bedroom for the second time. The blonde was staring out the window, playing with a mug once held hot coffee.   
“I brought you a souvenir” Axel threw a band t-shirt at Roxas who dodged and it landed on the floor. “Why are you hiding in your room?”  
Roxas didn’t even look up.  
Axel sat on the end of the bed and pulled Roxas who was sitting on his office chair towards him.  
“I’ve been back here for 7 months, temping in crappy offices and all I get when I get home is demands for rent and ‘Vanitus wouldn’t do that, Vanitus treats everyone with respect, why can’t you get a job like Vanitus. Van is a fucking Orthodontist with 2.4 kids and a wife who’s as mad as a box of frogs. I bet they think why can’t you be emotionally stable like your brother. He’s the golden child, I’m just ...”  
“You. Do you really want to be an Orthodontist?”  
“They just want me to make something of myself”  
“You’re a fantastic artist. Come with us on tour. Be a set designer. We pay good money and you’ll get to see me everyday.”  
“Yippee”   
It was the most sarcastic voice Axel had ever heard.  
“I can’t face anyone at the moment. Have you seen this?”  
Roxas threw a magazine at Axel, who looked confused.  
“Front page”  
Riku beamed from the cover, sporting short hair and holding a surf board. Next to him is a short man who looked like a brunette version of Roxas.  
The caption reads: Bachelor finally tied down.  
“Read the quote.” spat Roxas  
“‘I’ve spent my life restoring things and Sora restored my faith in love.’”  
“What were we, chopped liver?”  
“I think we broke him.” said Axel  
They sat in silence.   
“Do you want to go out sometime?” Axel said abruptly.  
“Like on a date?   
“Of course.”  
“Aren’t we doing this a bit backwards? It there an ulterior motive?”  
“We could show Riku what he’s missing.”  
“In that case, No.”  
“Or we could get to know each other better. I’d like to take you out and have sex with you sober.”  
Axel tried to look as sincere as possible and from the expression, Roxas doubted that he had ever looked sincere in his life.  
“Not on the first date.” Roxas snapped “You don’t mind being seen with Riku’s cast off?”  
Axel started to laugh.  
“So nice of you to care about my reputation, which would be kinda sweet if I had a good one or cared about what people thought of me.”  
“Pick me up at 8.00. I promise I’ll think about the job. Just no lying to me ok?”  
Roxas leant over and kissed the redhead who grinned and grabbed him by the arms and flung him onto the bed. Roxas yelped at him in surprise, then laughed, kissing him again.


End file.
